and you go for a walk
You go to the silent, still park behind the church with P and someone has left out bowls of water for the birds that they have written for the birds on. And you think what a thoughtful person and how wonderful that someone did that and how good humanity can be because the crows are parched, beaks open, feathers sticking out like they’re homeless
And you go for a walk in the park, the usual one, with V and you talk about this thing whereby people want to make every historical woman a man, and I ask her who would be the most extreme woman to make a man and she says Eve and I think this is a good answer and then we say but of course Eve is made of man, of Adam’s rib and she tells me that a scholar once told her something about the rib really being a vestigial penis that a monkey has, and we have an ice cream
And desire is a f-ing c*nt and you think to yourself
does this go away
and
maybe it just gets smaller and smaller
a dirty weekend
high in someone else’s laundry
then nothing
just that
who doesn’t love an early night
And we sit and talk about nature, human nature, non-human nature, the fact that we are nature, even or especially at our most unnatural. And how if you say
ecology or environment or biosphere or planet or globe or matter or whatever it changes everything that follows, but we don’t get round to saying too much about these as terms in their own right
maybe next week
And I am sick of everything being social and historical even though obviously of course of course everything is social and historical but it still doesn’t really tell you anything other than that things are social and historical and then you think hmmm well what is not social and historical and then I suppose it would be the soul and the eternal, for want of better words. And we do not philosophise anymore with a tuning fork, but with something else that measures vibes, and you read a good piece that says basically everything political and what people think boils down to vibes and you are like, hmm, well that’s not very rational but
And are there truer vibes, and you must admit you get sick of this idea that you only believe things because you like person who said it and if someone you don’t like says something true you pretend they didn’t, or if they did, they said it in an evil way or for a mysterious, suspicious reason, so that it wasn’t true after all even if it was
And this is how we end up with no shared commitment to anything whatsoever
only bad vibes
And in the neighbourhood chat there is a discussion about whether it is human or animal who keeps pissing in the lift, and people decide it isn’t a dog and in any case the dog that it might be cannot defend herself and someone says People are people some are good some are bad and some are dirty bastards