the blood of plants
There are more seagulls now
because it is windy at sea
they come inland, well maybe, it’s what my gran used to say, she said it in the past and she used to say it when she was alive, so you say ‘used to say’ and it means both sometimes and once some other times when someone has changed, but usually it is just when they are dead
and it was like a meme I suppose, she said it because she heard someone else say it, or maybe she had some kind of insider seagull knowledge. I think I prefer the elderly person memes but I suppose that is the sort of thing I would say because I want to think that old memes are about nature and the new ones are about themselves
I think the seagulls are bored of the sea being lockeddown and they enjoy the fishwater that is always on the lefthandside of the pavement, which is a sort of combination of melted ice and the water they pour on the fish, and I always sort of step in it and sort of not sort of a gesture to try to vaguely avoid the fishwater, but its effect would be negligible in any case and my gran told me about a girl who used to go out with a boy but he worked with fish and always smelled of fish but he would not give up his job so the girl gave up on him instead, and I used to think ‘that seems like a silly reason not to go out with someone’ but maybe there were other reasons and the fish thing was an excuse not to say what they were
and what am I doing I dont know walking in circles trying to put things in order but making a list is not doing the list and there is ‘news’ but it is not for anyone but for everyone who is no one and in any case it is all evil and designed to make you want more news which is really just portalling more access to the mid-space between sleeping and death which is like a chemtrail or a toothpaste stain and no one cares about the news at least in the old days you could line things with it
and angels are like office workers with files and a brisk manner and did anyone ever think it would take so much work to start such a thing and how is it even possible that buildings exist let alone so many of them and so much dead work and so much stuff is already here but one person can’t even get out of bed in a day
how does anyone do anything ever unless they are given little tasks or bigger ones by another angel or a seagull or occasionally a demon
but the demon is the kind of man who gives you the same task over and over again because he is thoughtless and feels bad about being thoughtless but cant do anything different
and an angel gets overexcited about filing and starts putting lots of code in and stickers and little tables and then the angel has to calm down and close the filing cabinet and have a little dream
and they are both running on the fumes of the machine and it wont stop
and in the middle and god I forgot about the gods they are in the pyramid or the temple or wherever you go when they look bemused like indulgent uncles but you get very annoying very quickly when you tell them you dont like the decor or you dont even have to say it they just know and they say ‘get back to nature!’ and it is true you don't understand the digital gods and you think there is something very cold about their spinning globe and their symbols and their zero
and the trees instead are absolutely pulsing but it is alien and even then you have to ask permission and again you are in the middle and is it not zero it is the nothing but it is like a green nothing and my god you think why isnt everything green, it was green once, everything was green and your eyes are like popping out as if they are awash in the blood of plants and it is too much
and someone asks you if demons are real and you say ‘yes, yes! it was a mistake to give up on demons, they explain everything, but you can deal with them if you can give them a name, and in any case, angels also exist!’ and with this thought you feel shot through with the golden bind and your heart swells and you remember that time when you felt that you knew that everything would be alright because it is alright and there is this world and the others and they are fundamentally good
and if you forget then you just hear the waves and the absent seagulls who are inland even though the fish here are dead and the ones they left behind are alive but sometimes things just look one way when they are another and everything is temporary but also eternal and you think how wonderful everyone is and you think oh i will just be like one of those women who says how wonderful all the time, how wonderful